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Riot as children's favourite takes over at The InnLink to this postKids storm Mr Pastry landlord in pub siege HUNDREDS of screaming children besieged The Inn at Freshford last night after news leaked out that TV favourite "Mr Pastry" had taken over as landlord. The sole customer in the pub was trampled to death as the marauding kids clambered over the bar to demand the autograph of balding Leeds TV legend Fred Scrotum. Jazz band leader Derek Oldroyd, who used to play at The Inn, spotted the riot as he drove by in his car and tried to calm things down by hurling a brick through the window. But Scrotum stood his ground and drove out the children by playing old Max Bygraves records and tracks from a CD by the Checkout Turds, a fabulous new trio at The Inn who have cornered the market in "Supermarket Music's Eternal Greats" or S.M.E.G. – a nationwide shopping phenomenon which has had millions of Britons falling asleep over their trolleys. Asked to comment, Scrotum said in his empty bar: "Appen, I've nothing to say, except 'We're getting there' and 'I hate the general public.' "Anyway, you bastard, don't you realise it'll be nearly closing time in at least three hours? So just drink up and bugger off. And you can tell that toe-rag Geoff Edwards he's barred." Mr Pastry is 94 in the shade. Posted on 13 Aug 2009 by The_Stroller
testing editing commentsLink to this posttesting comment access for user level.
Posted on 13 Aug 2009 by Geoff Edwards
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